All posts tagged sad

Starting pre-school!

Published 12/11/2013 by RiceysWifey

Hmm well it’s just occured to me that my youngest, Lexie, will be starting preschool in roughly 7weeks time. She will celebrate her third birthday on New Year’s Eve (31st December) and start pre school on 6th January 2014.

My eldest daughter Kayleigh, didn’t start pre school until she was nearly four. My boys however things were very different.

I had Callum in 2006 and Nick just over a year later in 2007. I struggled. A lot. I found it incredibly difficult to manage both their needs at the same time. Was almost like age gap twins. Never had any time to myself or with my elder daughter. So when nick was six months old and Callum 18months old. We, chris and I, took the decision to find a private nursery and pay for the boys to go three mornings a week, 8-1pm so I could not only rest, but get the house back to some kind of normality. It was a mess. Couldn’t keep up with washing, cleaning, everything was so behind… I was ashamed of my house. Also at this point in time I never had any friends. I didn’t want anyone to come to the house because of the state of it. I knew two people and that’s it. The boys settled well and I started to attempt sorting the house… A mammoth task. When nick turned 2 both boys started at the same preschool who room children from 2 years old. I had to pay again for nick but Callum was entitled to his 15 hours a week government funded hours. From there they both gradually transfered into a lovely little *outstanding ofsted* school called pen mill infant and nursery school. Which has since changed to academy status.

This is where Lexie will start her journey. She’s overly excited. Keeps telling me when she’s three she will go to Nicks school. ( Callum has now progressed to junior school In a different setting) lucky for me it’s straight opposite pen mill, so school runs, at the moment even though are at three different schools, are all within a short distance so timings are ok!

I have several friends who have recently asked why I haven’t put Lexie in early, like I did with the boys. Well the simple answer is… I have no need to, I can cope now, I have a clean and tidy house and mentally I’m OK. Well apart from the obvious fibromyalgia chronic fatigue everyday. I have my routines firmly in place and everyone in my family sticks to my routines. That’s why she’s home with me…. Because

I’m OK!

However I shall miss her so very very much daily.



My Hubby

Published 09/07/2013 by RiceysWifey

The title of this doesn’t quite cut how i wanted it to sound (if that makes any kind of sense). I just thought I’d take a little time to write a few things about him.

We met in April 2004, face to face that is… You see we met on the Internet, AOL chatrooms to be precise!! He was at the time 20 I was 28 and a single mum to Kayleigh. He was working at where he still is now here in Somerset. I was in the middle of the MOsT awful time in my life imaginable.myou see my ex (Kayleigh’s biological father) was a complete moron. He was abusive, mentally emotionally and physically. I had reported him to the police on several occasions, however always faltered when it came to the signing of my statements. So therefore he wasn’t prosecuted. Myself and my ex were not together yet he still ruled mine & Kayleigh’s lives.

in the April a friend needed help, both Chris and I knew her via the chat rooms. So one night when she called for help Chris went and picked her up from London and bought her to myhouse in Gosport, near Portsmouth, Hampshire. This would be the first time I actually MET Chris face to face. I was sooooooo nervous it’s untrue!! The feelings of lust/love which ever you wish to call it were already there. Butterflies when I got a text or when the phone rang, but this time OMG I was actually going to meet him!!

Around 9ish that night they arrived, I looked out my maisonettes window and saw them Getting out of the car! ARGH this is IT!!! The door knocked! I saw Tay first… Gave her a huge hug and welcomed her into my home! Then this was it eeeekkkkkk the moment of truth! Would those feelings be true? Would he like me? Or me like him? Ya knowin the flesh? Not photos or phone calls but for REAL?? Well I can honestly say meat moment when he hugged me I knew! He was THE one!! I not lily loved hem but I was officially IN love with him from that moment onwards!”

He knew about Kayleigh, wasn’t worried. He knew ll about her father… Wasn’t bothered. Didn’t care my house was less than perfect or the estate I lived on was rough as dogs. He just liked and wanted me for me. Nothing more nothing less. So anyways the following day Chris and Tay left, it was decided that cause of the pressure I was under at the time Tay couldn’t stay with me, and Chris had a 3bed flat in somerest so Tay went back with him to start her new life. Over the following months Chris took every opportunity in coming to see me late at night and leavi g early hours so Kayleigh’s father wouldn’t find out. Was all very cloak and dangers at that time. Which become increasingly frustrating! In the July I was on holiday with my parents for my mums 50th birthday, along with my dad and brother and his family! Chris and Tay were coming down each night and staying til early hours so my family wouldn’t know ! Sneaky!, on the 9th July 2004 we were officially a couple!! In the september I had to move from my flat to a house, Chris even paid the deposit on the house, helped me pack up unpack and generally did everything to settle myself and Kayleigh into our new home. Things were going very fast and I found juggling Kayleigh’s fathers demands and abusiveness along with havinrelation axing relationship happening with Chris, Kayleigh truly adored him but without prompting from me she NEVER mentioned Chris to her father not Once!! In thdice ember Kayleigh’s father attacked myself and Kayleigh in our house. As soon as I managed to get him out I rung Chris explained what happened and he very calmly said “baby call the police and just see what they advise you to do” so upon his advise I did this. Within ten mins they arrived taking statements, photographs the lot I was so confused. Didn’t really know what was going on. My phone was non stop all his family trying to speak to me making threats everything was manic.

chris came later that evening after panic alars had been installed and her father was arrested instantly they found him. It felt strange. I was alive Kayleigh was alive, Chris was there, everything all of a sudden was quiet, that is the on,y way I can describe it…so very very quiet.

that year was THE best Christmas I, WE ever had together, we got engaged, laughed & smiled and never had I seen Kayleigh so very relaxed without a care in the world.

then January came! Chris hard a huge car accident which left him unable to walk for five month, the amongst the fact my tenancy running out and the attack taking place we decided to move, to Somerset, close to Chris work.

That was January 25th 2005….. Since then we have had three houses, three babies, one marriage, made awesome friends that we class as family. Holidays fun laughter but most off all…… We have US!!


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